Post Holiday Blues

January 6, 2015

At the end of every year, I give thanks.

Thanks for my perseverance, my hard work, not giving up.

Thanks for my family and friends who encourage me and remind me to push through, to reach further, higher.

Thanks for all the work that came in.

Thanks for all the successful audition even when I didn’t get the part.

Thanks for all my bullies over the years that have fueled my fire. (Yes you, drunken boy still walking on Samson Avenue in Laval!)

Thank you for all the creative artists who manage, despite budget cuts, to still make beautiful, amazing art and develop new projects.

Thanks to Subito Texto’s 3rd season (my French show where I play a very worried, protective and disciplinarian Arabic mom). Yes, bring on a season 4, let work flow upon me!

Thank you universe: I made it through another year as an artist! (Imagine grand symphony sound effect here. Thank you.)

It’s like an Oscar speech (or Genie or Jutra if you want to keep it local) except, it’s not. There are no trophies, no applause, no audience, no pretty dresses and uncomfortable heels, no makeup and jewelry, no cameras, no interviews, no glamour.

It’s just me.

At home.

With my cats.

Posting on facebook.

And writing this blog.

Don’t get me wrong: all those thanks are sincere and true. They just never reach a big crowd. I should check how many of you are reading right now!

We do work hard, and persevere, and push through, and defy odds, and practise, and compete. I am thankful when I have work. I am grateful for any successful audition because you never know who will remember you or when they’ll call you. And with that faith, you leap into the next year. 2015. All is possible.

I’ll make new headshot. I’ll set up my new demos and up-date my cv’s (all double because I have to make sure there is a French and English version of each: video, audio and CV). Then, I’ll upload to vimeo and Casting Workbook, and create links in my signature on emails and update my various webpages (ACTRA, UDA, EQUITY, QDF, ARRQ, Casting Workbook, Entre Acteur and Bridget Dechene, my French and English representations). And I’ll do my voice exercises and practice my diction. I’ll prepare new monologues for upcoming general auditions. I’ll start training again. The new generation of actresses are born botoxed for Chrissake! I’m in my thirties, competing with them. I have to remain in the race!

And while I’m at it getting everything done, I’ll create my personal website and finish writing my play, my 3rd short film and my feature and I’ll apply for grants. I’ll follow up on my 2nd short film in Festivals around the world!!! There are no holidays when you are a freelance worker. And it doesn’t matter that I am not paid for all this “prep” work or for developing new projects. Because when the phone rings, I will be ready. It shall be a glorious year. (Imagine grand symphony sound effect here. Thank you.)

You think that is a lot of work before that 1st call for that 1st audition of the year? Fear not friends. That 1st call only comes in March.

Natalie

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